


Better keep fishing.

by FriendlyCactus



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A lot of near drownings, Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Emphasis on enemies, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, He's carnivorous, Humans have magic, Is that Merskeleton?, Mermaid Papyrus, Reader-Insert, Sans wants to eat you, Swearing, maybe future smut, mermaid sans, sans is a jerk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-01-07 12:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18410735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendlyCactus/pseuds/FriendlyCactus
Summary: In a world where nearly everyone has magic, there is a peaceful island where people live in harmony with the sea and its creatures.Except for you, because clearly in a past life you offended some random god and now you are cursed to be the only person relegated to the land on an island full of fishers. And despite all of that, you still managed to catch the murderous attention of a hungry mermaid. Merman. Merskeleton. Mersomething.Whatever. If he thinks that you're going to be an easy prey, better for him to keep fishing, because you're not going down without a fight.





	1. You hate mermaids.

**Author's Note:**

> This is how all the greatest love stories begin, right?

 

Life was full of questions.

Who are we?

Where are we from?

Where are we going? 

How could you be the only person in your village that couldn’t swim?

Why was said village on an island?

Why did the gods make the sea?

Why were you having an inner monologue out of nowhere?

Who knew. What you _did_ know was that for your people the sea was a fundamental part of life and their magic reflected that: there was someone who could heal minor injuries using sea water, someone who could sing and attract fishes, someone who could predict the future by “hearing” the sea’s voice, whatever _that_ meant.

You kicked a mermaid in the face once.

That was the extent of sea-related capabilities you ever manifested.

You even kept the tooth that came loose from that particular encounter because you were nostalgic that way. To be honest, your grandmother, resident sage and aforementioned future teller, insisted for you to keep that as a necklace to counteract the bad luck she predicted the moment you were born, which was something like “Dudes, don’t let this child touch the sea. Seriously, she will die.”. For obvious reasons, your parents were absolutely thrilled to hear that, considering that you lived on a freaking island and your family was composed of _fishers_.

Yep, raising you was going to be a really fun experience.

That being said, if you couldn’t touch the ocean, how exactly did you manage to get in kicking distance from a mermaid?

That was easy: when you were fifteen you sneaked on a canoe with two friends to reach the group of big rocks that emerged from the water not too far away from the coast. It wasn’t the first time that you were on a boat, but it was the first time doing it without an overprotective adult breathing down your neck, so it felt pretty damn good.

You climbed the rock, you sunbathed, you watched with envy your friends jump in the ocean, then you simply laid on your stomach with your chin propped on one hand while the other skimmed just a hair above the surface.

It was then that a skeletal hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you underwater.

You didn’t even have the time to process what was happening; you felt the incredible cold of the water, you tasted its saltiness and closed your eyes to protect them from the burning sensation it caused, all the while trashing and kicking, feeling a rough and scaly surface. The hand that was not locked in an iron grip had managed to somehow grab on the edge of the rock and you were holding on for dear life, feeling like you were going to split in half at any moment. Sharp teeth sank in your side and you opened your mouth to scream, gulping down salty water instead.

That was it.

You were going to die.

Just like your grandma said.

Were you going to drown, or was this creature going to eat you first?

Where the hell were your friends??

No. Oooooh no, you were _not_ dying like this!

You let go with the hand still anchoring you to the surface and since the creature was still biting your side you tried to stick your fingers in its eyes as hard as you could.

It clearly didn’t expect you to do that, and you felt its teeth leaving you abruptly.

Your lungs were burning for air and the bastard was still gripping your wrist.

You opened your eyes briefly and looked down. White. Red. Sharp teeth.

You raised your leg and kicked it as hard as you could in the face once, twice, three times.

Your foot was numb, everything was starting to fade away.

Finally, after your final kick, the creature let you go.

Hands gripped you and pulled you on the surface, bleeding and half drowned.

It took weeks for the wounds on your side to heal, not to mention your scraped hand, your nearly broken wrist and the cut sole of your foot, which, when your friends finally pulled you out of water, had a fang stuck in it.

From what you and your friends told when asked what had happened, your village came to the conclusion that you were attacked by a mermaid, which was strange but not unheard of. Mermaids were known for being aggressive predators, but it was rare for one to attack a human: yes, they were big and smart, but humans were far less in number than any kind of sea creature a mermaid could find literally anywhere, and harder to catch since they were primarily land creatures. Also, human meat was very low on fat and calories compared to sea mammals.

Still, being intelligent creatures, they could do it as a challenge or curiosity, so the village stayed alert for weeks after the attack.    

Good times.

But, well, the fact remained that you didn’t die. Listening to your grandma, you should have.

Sure, you got attacked by a rabid sea creature with rows of sharp teeth, but you lived to tell the tale, and now, years after that day, you had a cool scar on your side and a necklace with that hungry bastard’s fang, and you were still… not going in the water. At all.

Because you were… cautious. And not a coward at all. Nuh-uh. Tooootally not afraid.

…

Okay, well, it was not your fault.

For the first months after you healed, every time you were near the sea you ended up seeing something moving under the surface or a strange reflection in the water and getting scared, even though it always revealed itself to be a branch or a fish or seaweed.

After a while that type of reaction faded, but you always found excuses to not go to the beach: adventuring in the forest to hunt deer and hares, repairing the fishing nets your family used, picking up fruits, counting clouds…

Then came the anger. You were pathetic, letting the ghost of a stupid memory having such power over you! You were not a child anymore, it was time to stop being ridiculous!

Your feet began drifting towards the shore again. At first just for a few steps, then you made a point to just sit in the sand for increasingly longer amounts of time, each time shortening the distance between you and the waves.     

Then finally, after years, you came to the point where you could sit in a boat again without having a panic attack. Sure, you preferred not to, but you felt a strange rush of excitement every time you managed to convince yourself to not be scared.

Until the day that the gods decided to test you.

There was a merchant ship that came to the island twice a year to exchange goods, but this time there was something else onboard other than fancy cloth and food.

They had captured a mermaid.

“Well, it’s not exactly a maid, that’s for sure. I’m pretty certain it’s a dude and it’s uglier than anything I’ve ever seen, but it’s got a fish tail and all that. We’re keeping it alive for now because we don’t know if it’s more worth selling it alive to some rich idiot that collects exotic creatures or cutting it up to sell the parts as ingredients for potions. Heard that mermaid scales are good for certain bedroom problems if you know what I mean.”

That night, you tossed and turned for hours.

A mermaid. Or, well, a merman.

It couldn’t be… No, that was impossible. Seriously, what were the odds?

Still, the thought that it could be the one that attacked you kept jumping around in your head.

The day after tomorrow they would take it away, and then you’d never know. What were you going to do? If it was indeed the one, seeing it and knowing it would end up far away from you could help you greatly in calming down what remained of your fear.

But, the question was, were you brave enough to go and see it in the first place?

 

In the end, you were brave enough.

The chief of the village explained the situation to the captain of the ship, and he consented you to come aboard. They kept it in a secluded part of the ship’s hold, and before you could enter they reminded you to keep your distance from the creature and to be careful. Also if you damaged it in any way they were going to make you pay twice its weight in gold.

They closed the door behind you, and you found yourself in a small room with a giant barrel in the center; inside of it, there was… a creature. You could see only the top half, but you were pretty grateful you didn’t get to see the whole thing since what you could actually see was in the shape of a very angry skeleton.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT, HUMAN FEMALE?”

You were nearly hyperventilating. Was it him? Oh gods, was it really him?  

Bones… yes, you remembered bones. But he had all his teeth. Did the one you knocked loose grow up again?

You also remembered red. Was his tail red? You couldn’t see from here, but you sure as hell were not going to get anywhere near him to find out.

“I want to ask you something. Did you ever… - you took a deep breath. You could do this. - … did you ever attack a human near this island?”

“ARE YOU DENSE, HUMAN FEMALE? HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW NEAR WHICH INSIGNIFICANT ROCK THIS PIECE OF WOOD FULL OF VERMIN IS ANCHORED RIGHT NOW?”

That was… actually a good question.

Right.

Gods you were so stupid sometimes.

“About six years ago, did you attack a human, pulling her underwater and biting her, only for her to escape by kicking you in the face until a fang came loose?”

“AND NOW YOU ARE INSULTING ME. DO I SEEM SUCH AN INCOMPETENT HUNTER THAT I WOULD…” he stopped talking all at once, staring at you with his empty eye sockets. Then he started laughing so hard that the barrel vibrated with the force of it. “THIS IS RICH! FOR POSEIDON’S BEARD, ARE YOU TELLING ME _THAT’S_ HOW SANS LOST HIS FANG? I KNEW THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING COULDN’T POSSIBLY HAVE LOST IT FIGHTING WITH A KILLER WHALE!”

You were taken aback by that sudden outburst, and you were also not sure if you should feel offended or not since this guy seemed to find the idea of losing a tooth because of a human hilarious.

“So… you think it was this Sans?”

“OF COURSE IT WAS HIM, ONLY THAT IDIOT WOULD LOSE TO A PREY AS EASY TO CATCH AS A HUMAN. SO, HUMAN FEMALE THAT BESTED MY BROTHER, DID HE AT LEAST MANAGE TO TAKE A CHUNK OF MEAT OUT OF YOU BEFORE YOU MADE HIM RUN AWAY?”

You took a step backward. “I never said it was me.”

“DON’T INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE, OF COURSE IT WAS YOU. NOW ANSWER ME BEFORE I LOSE MY PATIENCE.”

His tone was beginning to get on your nerves. Why did he have to be so damn rude?

“You keep saying that humans are inferior to you, so why are you here then? How could they capture you if you’re so great?”

“YOU SHOULD LEARN TO BE MORE POLITE, HUMAN FEMALE. OF COURSE I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, AM HERE BECAUSE IT WAS MY PLAN ALL ALONG. THIS PARTICULAR SHIP IS WELL KNOWN AMONG THE INHABITANTS OF THE OCEAN TO BE AMONG THE ONES THAT CAPTURE MAGICAL CREATURES FOR PROFIT, SO I LET MYSELF TO BE TAKEN TO LET THESE FOOLS BRING ME TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS.”

“But… why didn’t you simply follow it?”

“OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT A COWARD WOULD DO! NOW CEASE WITH YOUR FOOLISH QUESTIONS AND IF YOU INSIST ON NOT ANSWERING MINE THEN LEAVE ME ALONE. ALSO, NEXT TIME YOU SEE MY BROTHER, TELL HIM TO QUIT HIS LAZY WAYS AND FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE, YOU CAN LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT THE INFERIORITY OF HUMANS FROM INSIDE ONE OF THESE SHIPS.”

You felt your blood grow cold inside your veins. “What? I never saw him again after the attack. I never even spoke to him. Why would you say that?”       

“YES, YOU _ARE_ DENSE. LISTEN TO ME, HUMAN FEMALE: WE ARE DEADLY PREDATORS. PREY SIMPLY DOESN’T ESCAPE US. IT CAN RUN AWAY MOMENTARILY, WE CAN FOLLOW ITS TRAIL, WE CAN WAIT PATIENTLY, BUT IN THE END, WE ALWAYS CATCH IT.”

 


	2. Mermaids hate you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internet abandoned me literally one second before posting this chapter. Because why not.

 

It had been two weeks since the merchant ship that “captured” Papyrus had sailed from your island. You had considered telling them about his plan of… what? Spying them? Attacking them in the dead of the night? Well, whatever his plan was, you had considered warning the crew, but then again they planned to sell him to slavery or for ingredients after chopping him to bits, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have his reasons.

They knew that mermaids were dangerous and had decided to capture one anyway, so they were probably equipped to deal with him. If not, well… it wasn’t really your business.  

That being said, you had your own problems right now, like money-hungry hunters breathing down your neck and pestering you about that time that you defeated an entire pack of mermaids armed only with a toothpick and a banana.

Sailors sure loved their gossip and it seemed like your story had been sliiiiiightly distorted passing from one mouth to the other.

Ship after ship full of questionable people kept coming to your village only to be turned down every time, at first kindly, then firmly, then with the help of a broom: no, you were not an expert in mermaid-hunting; no, you didn’t know how to catch one; no, you didn’t know where the one that attacked you was; yes, they could try to catch him all they liked.

If you needed an ulterior proof of Sans’ presence even after what Papyrus told you, what happened to those ships definitely nailed the coffin shut on your hopes: every one of them went away empty-handed, with half of their crew missing and the other half babbling about a red monster with sharp teeth and a bad sense of humor.

Oh, and one of the survivors always had a message ready for you.

Because apparently Sans wanted to make you feel special or something. Yes, or _something_.

The first message was a simple: “Hello”.

The second was: “Did you have a nice chat with my brother?”

The third person had a gift for you: a rusted fork clearly taken from a sunken ship.

The fourth, the fifth and the sixth all had one message: “I’m waiting.”

He could wait for all eternity for all you cared.

You wanted to say that you took all this calmly and with the maturity typical of an adult, but the truth was that you took the fork and threw it in the sea screaming at the top of your lungs: “WHY DON’T YOU TRY AND COME HERE TO CATCH ME, YOU OVERGROWN SEAHORSE? OH WAIT, YOU CAN’T! GO SUCK A DEAD CRAB AND DIE!”

You tried to warn the next hunters that it was dangerous and pointless to try to catch him, but your warnings fell on deaf hear.

When the only survivor came back, he gave you crab claws. Because obviously Sans was a comedian of unparalleled talent.

“He-he said to tell you… he said that he’s waiting for the main course.”

You stuck them in a dead fish as mock legs and threw it all back in the sea.

 

Two days after that episode you were out hunting in the forest with your bow when you made a quick stop on a small cliff to gaze toward the horizon: no approaching ships today. Thanks the gods for small mercies. You were about to turn your back to the sea when your attention was caught by a red apple floating gently in the waves just a few feet below you.

It was just an apple, nothing less, nothing more.

Sometimes the sea washed ashore things like that, dropped from boats or as a result of shipwrecks, so you just shrugged and went back to your hunting.

You should have known better.

That cliff was one of your habitual spots for looking at the horizon and you had a habit of going there nearly every day, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed seeing that in the following days in the apple’s place you found first a banana, then three oranges and then a freaking watermelon.

By that point, your sharp and flawless brain started to notice that something strange was happening and thought that maybe one of your friends was pranking you.

Ah-ah. Sure. One of your friends. That was totally it.

Okay, okay,  you… just didn’t want to feed your paranoia yet. The gods only knew how obese it already was without adding random floating fruits to its daily plate.

So you asked around the village who was the culprit: the answer was no one.  

The paranoia took that as the signal to have an illegal party inside your head and decided to invite its friends stupidity and panic, because the more the merrier!

If it wasn’t a prank, obviously it was a plan to lure you in the sea with food.

Because… Sans thought that you were a strange creature with the mentality of a six years old child, apparently.

 _“_ No, no, this is dumb _”_ you said to yourself shaking your head to clear it from those stupid thoughts. “It’s just a coincidence. It happens.”

The next day, you were greeted by a dead fish floating belly up.

“Oh come on! You’re not even trying anymore!”

Sure, you could have simply avoided that place to begin with, but you were already forced to stay on land, you weren’t about to start chipping away at that too!

Then, the last straw.

A dead rabbit was floating placidly on the water on a big piece of wood that looked like it was ripped straight off the side of a sunken ship.

You stared at it.

It stared at you.

Yep, the dead rodent from hell was somehow able to stare at you accusingly for being the cause of its current situation.

Nope. No, no and no. You were out. You were noping out of this sooo hard.

You turned your back to the freaking rabbit and marched off the small cliff, heading toward the tree line.

You had almost reached it when your decision to noping out was overridden by an obscure region of your brain that you didn’t know where it was but it surely leaked stupidity.    

Going back to the edge of the cliff, you stared at the water. “Oh sure! Let me just jump down there to grab that dead animal! I’m sure that there’s absolutely nothing waiting for me below the surface! Why don’t you get a life and leave mine alone? There are seven seas in the world, do you absolutely have to swim in this one?”

You paused briefly, watching the waves lapping gently at the rocks below you. “You know what? Whatever. I’m staying here. If you want to waste your life like this, suit yourself. Enjoy the rest of your pathetic life.”

You turned your back and started to walk away.

 

“pussy.”

 

You stopped dead in your tracks, your heart beating so hard that you could feel it in your ears.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Did he… did he just call you a coward?

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

With trembling hands, you strengthened your grip on your bow.

Slowly, you turned around, marched for the third time on that damned cliff, and looked down.

You didn’t know what you had expected to see: Papyrus had been pretty intimidating with his face made of sharp angles and dark eye sockets, so you  imagined that his brother Sans, the one who nearly killed you, would be equally if not more scary-looking.

What you actually saw was… roundness.

Part of his top half was on the surface, while underwater you could see a dark red tail moving lazily to keep him in that position, so for the first time in your life you were actually able to see him clearly: Sans’ skull was round and kinda squishy-looking, while the rest of his bones was thick. His eye sockets actually had red points of light in them instead of being dark and empty, and his big row of sharp teeth had a glint of gold in them. A false tooth?

Wait… was that in the place of the one you knocked loose?

All of your previous tension left you as your mind tried and failed to reconcile the image of the scary monster who had hunted you in your worst nightmares with what you were seeing now.

He was short. And round. He had literally no flesh in his top half, but still managed to seem squishy and round.

You opened your mouth before even knowing what would come out of it.

“Screw you, you demented fish brain.”

…

Good job, mouth!

Sans didn’t seem to be thinking the same thing, judging by his scowl. “care to repeat?”

“You heard me. Screw you, I’m not a coward! I’m just living my life and I have no obligation to humor you with your vengeance idea or whatever it is that you want from me. You tried to eat me, so I defended myself. We’re even, so leave me alone. Shoo.”

Sans raised his left hand and made a rude gesture toward you. 

“we’re not even by a long shot, little jellyfish. down here it’s _eat or be eaten_ , not _run away after a scratch and then send others to do your dirty work_!”

“I didn’t send anyone! The hunters that came after you were not my idea!”

“i don’t fucking care! you’re my prey and you should start acting like one!”

His prey?!

You grabbed three arrows and sent them flying in quick succession with your bow.

They sunk one after the other in the dead rabbit.

“Next time I’ll be aiming at your stupid head. Is this enough prey-like for you?”

After a moment of silence, Sans actually started laughing.

“eh, that’s the spirit! now you’re acting like the bitch i remember! i can’t wait to sink my teeth in you again!”

“Yeah, good idea. Stay there and wait. Don’t blame me if you end up dying of old age in the meantime.”

Aaand there it went his middle finger again.

“you’re fucking annoying, little jellyfish.”

“Look who’s talking, fish brain.”

“the name’s sans.”

“I know. I’m not going to tell you mine.”

Sans started floating belly up with his arms behind his head and a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“who cares about your name. jellyfish is perfect: you look dumb but you’re actually a bitch.”

“Well, you look dumb and you’re actually dumb, so at least I’m a step above you, fish brain!”

“Fuck you!”

“ _Fuck you!_ ”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans: your face is dumb!  
> Reader: Your mom is dumb!  
> Sans: i'm not playing with you anymore!  
> Reader: And I'm telling your brother!  
> Papyrus: Enough. You're both grounded.


	3. You hate pirates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I was stuck for quite some time and decided to cut it in half. The next part is going to come out soon!

 

You were on a ship.

Normally, that would have been a cause of joy: you, this close to the sea despite your past crippling fear of it?

Yeah, well, that implied knowing the meaning of the word “normal” in the first place and not being hunted by a short, chubby looking, foul-mouthed, bad-tempered skeleton merdude who called you _jellyfish._

You’ve had the indisputable honor of getting to know him very well over the past two weeks and you had to admit that after a closer inspection he was after all… no, who were you kidding, he was a jerk.

No hidden depths whatsoever, no redeeming qualities, no room for misunderstandings: he was a soulless bastard who wanted to eat you for some undisclosed reason that probably made sense only in his distorted non-existent brain.

Not mentioning the fact that his vocabulary was composed mostly of swear words, with some actual real words sprinkled somewhere in between just to form something vaguely resembling a sentence.

It was such a relaxing experience talking to him.

At first you had purposely changed your routine, going to the cliff at different hours to see if he would still be there, because it was simply not believable that he stalked the beaches 24\7 just to glare at you when you were near.

Surprise surprise, it did take him a few days to catch up with your adjustments. So obviously you kept changing time and place for your activities just to screw with him.

Once you were certain that you had succeeded in pissing him off, you simply resumed your usual routine.

Why?

Well, if you were honest, you liked having power over Sans; your fear had ruled you for so long that now being able to simply look down at the sea and taunt him was a rush of excitement. Ignoring him and simply stay away would be maybe the smarter option, but it would make you feel trapped and bring you back to square one, fearing everything sea-related.

You honestly didn’t know why Sans was devoting so much time to this pointless “hunt” of his: he didn’t attack any other habitant of your little island, he didn’t respond to your attempts to reason with him, he didn’t seem to get bored of simply waiting for you to, what? Become crazy and jump into the water?

Who knew.

Or maybe you were overcomplicating things and he just had a really, really, really small intellect.

Yeah, that was probably it.

Speaking of the devil, in a shocking and absolutely unpredictable twist he was following the ship.      

_I wonder how it feels to be an adult with your mind stuck at five years old._

You threw another piece of bread in the water and were rewarded with a skeletal hand giving you the bird.

Life was all about little satisfactions.

Later, after the Sun had already disappeared below the horizon, you found yourself staring at the wood boards above your head, trying and failing to get some sleep.   

The journey would still last three days and, considering you had been on that ship for two now, you thought yourself lucky that between the crew members there was one with the ability to control the wind. It was nothing big like making tornados or something like that, but enough so that you were destined to arrive in half the usual time to your destination, which was where you hoped to meet someone who could maybe one day become your future husband.

Your island, like every other one you knew, was rather small, so not only you knew every inhabitant, but you were also related to the majority of them, so not exactly an ideal hunting ground for a partner. Young adults  had to necessarily search for romantic love on other islands, but travelling this much was not something everyone could do, so it was decided that the island at the exact center of the archipelago would host once a year a big festival for those who wanted to meet new people and maybe start a new family.

Usually boys and girls started attending at the age of eighteen, but you had done that much later thanks to Mister Stupid Fins, and even then you didn’t have much luck: maybe you were picky, maybe you were simply not ready to form a relationship, or maybe you met a lot of giant pricks who were not thrilled about your lack of magic. One of the three.

Well, you hoped this would not end up being another big waste of time, but to know that you had to arrive there in the first place, and right now your chances to just stumble and fall over the deck straight into the sea were probably very high: you just… hadn’t been sleeping well these past two nights. Maybe you were not used to the rolling movements of the ship, or maybe you were nervous about Sans trailing behind, but you had experienced strange and tiring dreams where you were at the bottom of the ocean and heard someone singing. You always woke up feeling disoriented and dizzy.

Like right now…

You just wanted to sleep… and…

You could just do that… sleep…

Yes, if only… he stopped singing…

…

What were you doing again?

Oh yes, you were walking on the bottom of the sea.

Silly you, forgetting something so simple.

Really, it was so calm and peaceful down here, why were you afraid of it in the first place?

There was also a beautiful voice guiding you, a deep, warm voice singing a melody that made you…

Kinda horny, if you were honest.

Well, wasn’t that a proper and absolutely not embarrassing reaction to hearing a song.

Who was singing, anyway?

Why were you walking toward the source of the sound?

Could you even get your freak on under the sea?

“…e girl, are you okay? Wake up!”

You opened your eyes with a start.

A crewwoman was shaking you by your shoulders and judging by her raised hand was about to slap the ever-loving crap out of you.

“What the…” you said looking around you with confusion.

You were standing on the deck, exposed to the night breeze.

“You had me scared, girl. Never saw someone sleepwalking like that. ”

 “… yeah… sorry. Thank you for waking me, I guess.”

“Forget it. Now hurry up and go back inside, the deck’s not a safe place right now.”

Only now you noticed how nervous she looked, looking constantly behind her back toward the sea.

“Why? What’s happening?”

“A ship has been following us for hours. No flag, no signals.”

You felt your blood run cold in your veins. “Pirates?”

“Most likely.”

 _Most likely_ turned out to be _absolutely certain_ the next day, when despite the crew’s efforts to leave them behind, the pirates ended up catching up with your ship in the late afternoon.

Considering how many mages were onboard, it could have turned out pretty ugly on both sides, but as soon as the pirates were near enough, a strange cloud enveloped your ship and you went all to sleep in few seconds.

You woke up tied with your friends on a ship’s deck full of pirates.

“They are sorting us” one of your friends whispered to you while you tried to shake the magic-induced dizziness out of your head. “That big one with the scar can feel our magic.”

Yeah, it made sense. While mages were pretty common everywhere, some types of magic were still rare and desired in certain ambients full of questionable people. If magic creatures were hunted and sold, why not humans as well?

Speaking of magic, the ship was full of water mages. Why was no one rebelling now that they were all awake?

“Is one of them a Suppressor?” you whispered looking around.

Your friend nodded. “We already tried, none of us can use magic. I don’t know which one of them is it.”

This was bad. You watched your friends and some of the crewmembers from your previous ship being manhandled around the deck and sorted in three groups, probably based on how much money they were worth.

“No weapons?” you whispered trying to stay calm. You were not succeeding.

“They took everything. Listen, we are running out of options here. What about Sans?”

You did not hear that right.

“ _What_ about him?”

“He’s been following us, so he has to be still around here.”

“Well yeah, probably waiting for bloody meat to start falling off the ship.”

“Maybe he can help us.”

“The carnivorous mermaid with sharp teeth and the conscience of a hungry shark? Sure, why not.”

One of the pirates rudely grabbed your arm and shoved you at the center of the deck where the sorting was taking place.

It didn’t take long for them to realize that you were completely without magic.

“This one’s useless. Not worth a single piece of gold” spat one of them angrily. He then opened your clothes enough for everyone to see the huge bite scar on your side. “Look at this, she’s also scarred! No one’s gonna want her in any way.”

Some of the crew whistled and laughed, while one of them pointed at you. “That’s a nasty bite for sure, lassie! Went skinny dipping with sharks?”

Your mind was going too fast for you to follow.

You were useless to them, so they were going to kill you. You were seconds away from being thrown in the cold water of the ocean. Already dead? Still alive, just for the shits and giggles of seeing you drown or eaten by sharks?

_What do I do? What do I do??_

Sailors, and pirates in particular, were superstitious. That tidbit of information slammed in your skull after noticing that a few pirates were not laughing with the others, instead looking nervously at your scar and then at the sea.

“It was not a shark” you heard yourself saying over the raucous laughter surrounding you.

Laughter that promptly died down at your words.

“Did you say something, wench?”

You gulped down and gave your brain a free ticked straight to bullshit town. “I said it was not a shark. It was a mermaid. I-I saved an injured mermaid who washed ashore six years ago and he bit me, but he was weak and soon he collapsed and let go. I helped him recover and before going away he said he had a life debt with me. If you kill me, he’s going to make you pay.”

“Well girl, I have to admit that you really have some guts at least. Bullshitting us with that pretty face and not pissing yourself in the meantime. Hear that men? We shouldn’t kill her because she’s got a convenient monster boyfriend waiting around to save her!”

He turned around and backhanded you. “What? I hit you and I’m still alive? Is it because you’re full of shit and nobody is coming to save you?”

But his men were not laughing anymore.

Opening your eyes after the near blinding haze of pain began lifting, you noticed that more of them had started to look nervous. Their eyes were drawn to your scar, then your face, then your scar again.

“Wait, this sounds familiar…” one of them said.

“Yeah, I heard a story about a girl and a mermaid.”

“A bunch of people I know told me they were going mermaid hunting some weeks ago. They said a woman of the water mages island was bitten by one and then became a mermaid hunter as revenge. I heard they were all killed.”

“Mermaids are a nasty bunch, Captain. I heard one of them sunk a merchant ship after being held prisoner within it for weeks.”

The one who hit you, who you assumed at this point was the Captain, looked at his men with disgust and disbelief. “What are you, a bunch of grannies? Some brat tells you a scary story and you’re all ready to wet your pants? Do you know what’s gonna happen if I slit her throat right now? Nothing, that’s what!”

His men didn’t look convinced at all.

_Don’t piss yourself don’t piss yourself don’t piss yourself…_

“Do it” you said out loud, making sure to make eye contact with every pirate. “If you are ready to take your chances with fate and risk losing everything, then do it. The stories are true, many have come to my island to hunt down that mermaid, and few of them walked away alive.”

The Captain seemed to be pondering your words for some time. When he spoke again, he had a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“If you’re telling the truth, that changes everything.”

Ooooooookay…?

 

 

This was not okay.

This was sooo not okay!

Maybe telling a bunch of greedy pirates that you were the key to capture a creature that was worth more than twice its weight in gold was not a good idea.

The Captain was a very convincing man, and by the end of his speech nearly all his crew was drooling at the idea of using you as bait to corner and kill Sans.

Ooops?

They steered the ship toward an island they used as harbor for their illegal trafficking and once there they set up a trap: they put you in a damned cage and then the cage inside a cave half-submerged in the sea, the entrance being the only way in and out; meanwhile, a group of them waited in the shadows around you, while another group surrounded the entrance. The water was cold and came up to your waist, while you were bleeding in it from a cut the Captain made on your leg “as an incentive”.  

You wanted to come up and say some cool phrases like “it’s not gonna work, guys” or “you won’t get away with this”, but the thing was, it was going to work.

The first part.

The one where you were the bait and Sans mauled you like a shark with a baby penguin. That was going to work soooo well.

Then he would turn on the men that were with you and make them his dessert, but it would be of little help to you at that point.

Your only consolation was the fact that once Sans was finished with all of you in the cave, there would be only a few pirates left on the ship and your friends were going to have a better chance of escaping.

You stared helplessly at the water slowly rising with the high tide. The cave would not be totally filled, but if Sans didn’t show up on time, you were surely going to drown. Then again, if he showed up you were going to say goodbye to this world in the messiest dinner in history.

_Think, you stupid useless mermaid-kicker, think!_

The cage was meant to prevent Sans from simply grab you and swim away underwater out of the pirates’ reach; it would also provide you with a bit of protection, but you were under no illusion that Sans could crack it open one way or the other.

Was there a way for you to open it from the inside? Maybe with a rock, or…

“well well well. looks like someone is in some deep fucking trouble.”

...

Crap.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans: what are you doing?  
> Pirates: Nothing.  
> Sans: are you stealing my prey?  
> Pirates: ...nnnnnooo?  
> Sans: i don't like canned food.  
> Reader: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, mermaid princess!


End file.
